Book Review: Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control : Be a ...

If we could suggest one book to foster and adoptive families it would be Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control by Heather T. Forbes. The author wrote this book after she adopted her second child. She faced many behavioral challenges with him, and it was all linked to the past trauma he had experienced before being adopted. This book lets parents see a different side of parenting.

In the book, Forbes focuses her attention on two emotions: love and fear. According to Forbes, all other emotions come out of the two states of love or fear. She writes that negative, or maladaptive, behavior is motivated by fear ? fear of loss, fear of humiliation, or fear of abandonment, for example.

For parents of children from hard places, the goal is to determine the emotions that motivate behavior. By doing this, parents are more successful in eliminating negative behavior and reinforcing positive behavior.

Forbes also addresses trauma in relation to brain development. In traumatic situations, our brains access ?state level memory,? which is focused on survival ? our fight or flight response. State level memory does not focus on rational thought or detail. For example, if a child was abused at shower time, they would associate the shower with abuse.?The child cannot regulate this fear, as it is physiological rather than a rational behavioral choice. Forbes discussed how parents can choose to address the fear during times of crisis, rather than the behavior. Behavioral modification can occur after the crisis has passed.

Forbes? book also addresses seven behaviors that are based in fear: lying, stealing, hording and gorging, aggression, defiance and lack of eye contact. Within unique sections related to each behavior, she provides case studies comparing traditional methods of behavior management with her new techniques based on recent brain research. We consistently find this information incredibly helpful when working with children who come from hard places.

Forbes? book is reader-friendly and includes resource checklists at the end of each chapter. At Buckner, we use this book as a part of our book club for our foster parents because it provides good material for group discussions. If you have ever considered foster care or adoption, we cannot recommend this book highly enough!

Kaylee Hendriex is as a foster home developer with Buckner in Lubbock, Texas. She graduated from Texas Tech with a degree in Human Development and Family Studies and is currently working on a master?s degree in Counseling.

Craig Langford , M.Div. is a foster home developer and adoption specialist for Buckner in Lubbock, Texas. He has worked for Buckner for the past 17 years.

Source: http://stories.beafamily.org/index.php/2012/10/book-review-beyond-consequences-logic-and-control/

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